Clarity

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWDe8PeE9A4/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXeDWebjRga/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWYUkZkCSpH/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV8CH_CARRZ/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW3SorMFN5Q/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVMFGffiguh/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV5bBOTlC-6/

I can maim 2 birds with one stone

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWI__hEFLcN/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWOEI9MEmyu/

#concept #undeveloped

These women in relationships with gay guys.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV0N_uMAKnE/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DT5gUmPiemT/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTfmjyGFC4Z/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWlHahciYuP/

I lost my virginity to a rabbi

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXD_y2DEg5K/

Age is just a number

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DULqXQXEYHt/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW50kK3gt8g/

My neighbor came over today and he told me he lost his turtle.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXTbRdgiZ9I/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVAaJPZAgyH/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWik-xCD0a3/

Hi

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVKvCJTDcAU/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVdCeWVCQbr/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWntPt5gfuh/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTibvfkjSdM/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUbwD6kDVlt/

What if a 2 year old was sentient and asking adult questions while all the other two year olds were talking li

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVH4KtoDN3o/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXgqmLJICwa/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVYDxePiaC4/

Tinder is like a wishing well for dating. I toss a compliment and a swipe like I drop a coin into a fountain.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWBELtVjdQU/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXjldFQjsD1/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVibWQLClfr/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUBz3j1lVv3/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVkw95Uldr1/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVR1bJnkUq4/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTxoEfcDMWt/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUOGqilDZ-p/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWQhpibgE6W/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DU6C6l5iFih/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUVoVPCEU9x/

Yeah the elephant in the room: I'm tall.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUt8MvrlNkI/

Sometimes I see a thirst trap on social media and I can't help but think classic guy things.

Diagnosed with ADHD at 6 → Adderall prescription → basically the school drug dealer. Who bullies their drug de

Pro tip for those of you who (whom?) work at an office:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUTEzS9D2sC/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUw3BDVEXcy/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVfrwUGlBk3/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUQhVHHj-kS/

#concept #undeveloped

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUoU8wciccS/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DT8xyWjDFjW/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXJGwlGlLBA/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVU5e_ljsr8/

So I'm Jewish (surprise) and I'm what my high school rabbis would call 'off the derech' — off the path.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVnA04SFFE6/

Loves meeting women with boyfriends. No pressure, get to practice listening, get to be a third wheel, get goss

#concept #undeveloped

When I was in college, a friend asked me to do his business homework for him. I felt weird like I was being ra

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW8hCVeEYov/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWa8EAcCWLx/

The talk with my dad was short.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUrgUgTjJPk/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWVoGNPClUP/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUzNo2YADnr/

#concept #undeveloped

I got a new smart watch

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVsf7tdDSY9/

If I smell I'm sorry. That's anxiety sweat. I put on deodorant, but my anxiety is stronger than the deodorant

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW-79J-CE0i/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUYqrVRDN4l/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVp44CvAcnZ/

I don't get ghosted.

I've been thinking about going into the sperm industry.

#concept #undeveloped

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUG3hogjK7X/

#concept #undeveloped

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUi7UaFkfxz/

Are you on the apps? I'm on the apps. I love them. Chess.com, lichess, grindr

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWyHOrUjhaX/

#concept #undeveloped

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUD-YVvCdMg/

I think I might be a prude. I can only get off in missionary

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXHAMTvCAgu/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DT_z0E3ga-6/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVQZgqYiXpP/

I'm such an optimist I purchased an Amazon condom subscription.

Sometimes drivers will get mad at me for biking on the road even if I have a bike lane. I think they just don'

I was separated from women for 10 years.

Men love being called the man

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DT3ych5AizC/

The NYC ferry is amazing mostly because once a day, I get to be a pirate. Did you know that every ferry has a

Software is sometimes like comedy. You gotta clown, and then you need to think pragmatically and edit.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXL13j4Eb1D/

George started a boxing class and I think that's great… because he has a very punchable face

Being diagnosed with ADHD at 6 makes no sense — a 6-year-old with ADHD is just a regular 6-year-old. The docto

Sometimes I'll give a woman the ick and a I'll realize-

I get so many ads for valentines day themed things. It's kind of ridiculous that if I don't want to be sad I n

On an AI dating app. It asks "why not?" when you swipe no — which starts to border on therapy. Ends up wanting

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DU42r1mDSXm/

I only eat one cereal for a while. Like I only ate pops for like two years in high school.. and then I ate coo

I have a good relationship with my managers because I love kissing ass. Sorry-

I grew up on goosebumps

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWLwn6_gd_U/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV3Jui7Ej4N/

I like to compare my sex life to the career of a French language movie star.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DV-b1JjjMta/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DW0pndBjeEJ/

#concept #undeveloped

Dating is awesome and it sucks. For women, I imagine when it rains it pours, and it's always raining. It's rai

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVao_yjjwVV/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DU8gi2giAqf/

Arguing with rabbis about God → arguing with code that won't compile. Structurally identical. Mom still doesn'

#concept #undeveloped

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWf2a_wDqHc/

ADHD doesn't go away — it's like herpes. And the comparison keeps going from there.

Not that my penis is small

You guys ever look at someone's butt

A lot of guys don't call their mom enough.

A friend of mine recently started doing comedy after a breakup. I thought: this is a great origin story!

Are you an asker or a guesser?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWdaY06DOSM/

I’m Jewish, but I can’t date Jewish women.

> A bunch of stuff that either qualifies or is close to a one-liner. Compiled from 35+ source files. Source wi

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUlL-GElXoA/

#concept #undeveloped

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXY1HusDhIG/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUMYyuVEUfa/

They say you should treat your body.

The perfect compliment for men:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXRM7k8iFC1/

Having ADHD is great. Even if I'm distractible, my mind works in an interesting way and brings me interesting

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

I used to spend all day arguing with rabbis

My toxic trait is that I go out with girls who have cats even though I'm super allergic.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWs9gtSEtBV/

There is a pornstar who goes by Anne Frank

Went 0-19 freshman year of wrestling. Dad watched me get pinned in 25 seconds. Two years later, got revenge on

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXWNttrgoNX/

Okay, hear me out.

When I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror for the first time that day

A lot of guys will brag about being able to make a woman come

My experience with threesomes is that one type of three way is waaaay better than the other

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

Gorilla glue then gorilla tape. What's next?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUgRBmdjJP2/

#concept #undeveloped

A digest of all new writing in the two weeks leading up to Netflix is a Joke. Organized by theme, with develop

Californians are everywhere which is odd considering we came out west on the 1800s.

The place the Bible says sodomy was invented.

I feel like as a Jew, you've gotta mask your horniness in a willingness to procreate.

#concept #undeveloped

The "Jew from the Future" persona is one of David's most fully realized characters. The [[FUTURE megafile]] is

It must be crazy hard to get a PhD in sexology. Just staying up all night to study sex.

I once got into an argument with my parents about abortion. I was 15 and heard the word a couple of times, and

I think we’re all too gay for Ryan Gosling.

In sixth grade my friend was talking about pornography — and he used the word "pornography" because to an 11-y

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUdy59ZDJ8r/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXbbvYzFXZz/

#concept #undeveloped

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVxjNyugX5L/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXOgtHNlKc4/

Horny resume. It's a lot like filling out a resume when you're looking for a job because you NEED one. You're

Allergic to cats. When a woman has a cat, have to decide if she's worth giving up air. This spirals into aller

#concept #undeveloped

I recently found out that Doctor Strange isn’t a gynecologist.

----

Blackface is a thing of the past; makeup is cool and all but why would I paint a black face when I can just us

Hitler had a threesome with Eva Braun and a Jewish super model who knew astrophysics and was a virgin. She was

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

When I was in college I joined a frat

Because I'm Jewish, I got a lot of friends from high school that have the last names Epstein and Weinstein.

The truth will not set you free

I'm so insecure that if you hired a cyber security company to run a penetration test

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVGxxjnEUYk/

I got hit when I was a kid

It's the exception to the rule: smoking weed is taking the thing you love and killing it with fire

People have been riding this chatGPT hype in 2 ways:

#concept #undeveloped

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTu9txJDFAb/

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWvwig2ijgL/

It's crazy that being white comes with privilege. Like somewhere along the line, the narrative became somethin

I volunteered this Christmas at skid row on 5th & San Pedro.

Every men in here has measured his penis, more than once

What do you guys think about the relationship between spaghetti and meatballs?

These are the most developed, most promising, and most distinctive concepts across the vault. Ranked loosely b

#concept #undeveloped

At the top of the show, I'm usually very nervous and I was thinking if one of you wants to help me not be so n

#concept #undeveloped

Hugh Hefner if he had a mustache:

#concept #undeveloped

Schindler's List only has 98% on Rotten Tomatoes

if I had a cigarette for every time I quit smoking cigarettes, I'd smoke that cigarette

#concept #undeveloped

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTl7SPJD00G/

I recently went to the grocery and discovered Shaq gummies.

Arguing with a rabbi is like a boss battle you know you're going to lose because it's kind of hard to argue a

I'd date a comic but my penis doesn't work right now and I don't need everyone to know that

I've been thinking about pretending to be bisexual to get a job at a pro DEI corporation.

Here are some excuses to look at the girl's butt

I have an idea for a pick up line. I'm not sure it'll work

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWTAVHeEQDO/

#concept #undeveloped

I wrestled in high school

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXBz6M_AaNn/

#concept #undeveloped

I have an opinion about people's opinions on abortion.

Thank god for autocorrect or I would never be able to spell acquaintance.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVDCe8ilJPI/

I'm nothing like Hitler, except I also like to paint, I like hikes, and I occasionally wear my mustache for ye

#concept #undeveloped

Wet dreams are cool because I wake up as soon as I come.

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

A while ago Uber added this feature where you can put your preference that you don't wanna talk to the driver.

I'm never gonna own a house

I'm interested in true crime not because I like true crime but because it seems like true crime has a monopoly

I'm really upset about this wife thing

Heelies are how I communicate that I am both a good time and an accidental pregnancy

#concept #undeveloped

Because he doesn't realize that you need to build an orgasm like you renovate a house

One of the hardest parts about writing a joke about having a small penis is that

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

I wear a condom out spite for my father

David's comedy persona is built around a specific kind of insecurity: not self-pity, but self-aware absurdity.

I am an anxious optimist.

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

I like talking about statistics but I'm almost positive that every time I say the word 'statistics', every one

The townspeople like to talk about even if they haven't seen them

If you see a profile on tinder for someone too good to be true, they're a bot

#concept #undeveloped

So remember when I was in yeshiva — a Rabbi told me an argument in favor of waiting until marriage: if you sle

I matched with a trans woman on hinge

#concept #undeveloped

Worst part about being circumcised is walking around knowing I can't undo it

The bigger the penis the harder it is to aim

I think men would be so much healthier if we cried tears equal in volume to the amount that we cum

I don't get why "crowd pleaser" is a good movie review

#concept #undeveloped

I never know what's gonna go viral on instagram

This article maps the cross-cutting obsessions, structural moves, and signature patterns that appear across th

David has a strong instinct for character work, developed through clown training, improv (Groundlings), and st

So these are a bunch of dad jokes

#concept #undeveloped

I have a foot kink

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DU1mP9glRV2/

I went to Staten Island for a rim job

My dad was mad when I got my first tattoo

I feel like I have a lot to say about erectile dysfunction

Virginity is a lot like my foreskin

Growing up, I went to an all-boys Jewish private school, and for almost nine years, I was completely separated

**Sex Ed**

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

Superhero music is inspirational, that's why I switched from lofi to Hans Zimmer as sexy time music

I went out with someone

I think if somebody licks their fingers at the table, you gotta lick your fingers too

#concept #undeveloped

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTtYZRSgd4V/

From the bible:

I've been staying in this house by myself

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

I'm afraid of the L train because sometimes it gets stuck with another train in front of it and I'm afraid I'm

I don't like condoms

I don't like condoms

So I grew up in this somewhat Jewish family — which means I had to learn a lot about dating on the go. And on

A significant portion of the vault (perhaps 40%+) consists of performance logistics: set maps, show runsheets,

I'm allergic to cats, so when I meet a woman and I find out she has a cat,

When men get together, they'd rather build a trebuchet than talk

Tonight I met this cute girl

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DT0WvvED5lI/

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

I'm not one to kiss and tell

Whenever I see a hot person, I wanna be a better man.

So I almost went out with this woman who was a tattoo artist

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

I want a doctor who takes naps

I can hear my neighbors yelling when I'm in my bathroom

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVvAfBHmaTK/

Clap it up if you follow girl code or guy code

#concept #undeveloped

CEO of snoop's smokeless stove was fired for poor sales

> Extracted from dated notes. Each section is one bit/idea, separated by ---. Source file noted.

My ex girlfriend told me she faked all her orgasms, but they were real to me

I've been single for so long my mattress has retained its resale value

**Thursday and the Staten Island story**

#concept #undeveloped

> Extracted from dated notes. Each section is one bit/idea, separated by ---. Source file noted.

When I open my phone, I usually check the weather app or my chase bank app; either way, I'm either pleasantly

I don’t trust Waymo’s

> Extracted from dated notes. Each section is one bit/idea, separated by ---. Source file noted.

> Extracted from dated notes. Each section is one bit/idea, separated by ---. Source file noted.

I matched with a woman

Ideas for pants for Acro:

Boeing employees suicide rates fly higher than the 737 max.

I love the noun "nut"

If you ask a woman if she's faked an orgasm, the answer is probably yes

> Extracted from dated notes. Each section is one bit/idea, separated by ---. Source file noted.

In Judaism, we don’t have the concept of a born again Jew like you have born against Christians

#concept #undeveloped

> Extracted from dated notes. Each section is one bit/idea, separated by ---. Source file noted.

Have been thinking about soaking my own ass, but one of the only things that’s stopping me is that we had such

I've been on this AI dating app

I hope the sex robots look like those coco delivery robots

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 years old

> Extracted from dated notes. Each section is one bit/idea, separated by ---. Source file noted.

> Extracted from dated notes. Each section is one bit/idea, separated by ---. Source file noted.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTqHBQWky_j/

I could travel back in time to see Bill Cosby while he was still on TV playing Dr. Huxtable

So one of my favorite parts about stand-up specials is the opening.

I think in order to get approved for a loan, you should show them your guest bathroom

if something isn't funny, can you please fake it?

a friend of a friend can't cum because of anti-depressants and to make girls feel better

#concept #undeveloped

You can learn the intimate details about me on stage or after sex during pillow talk. Either way it's a 2 drin

#concept #undeveloped

My legs aren’t shaking because I’m nervous

The audience could follow me on instagram

I'm Jewish and I like Israel, but I don't think it's the only option for a homeland

I got a job in real estate accounting software

> Extracted from dated notes. Each section is one bit/idea, separated by ---. Source file noted.

I have ADHD, but not like your regular ADHD.

> Extracted from dated notes. Each section is one bit/idea, separated by ---. Source file noted.

#premise

#concept #undeveloped

So I don’t respect anybody who plays fantasy football

This is David's biggest differentiator as a comedian. He can juggle, do acrobatics, backflips, handstands, and

#concept #undeveloped

Is there anybody in the audience who does not like vaccines — like you're concerned about the way they're regu

#concept #undeveloped

A deeply personal category with some of the most developed, layered material. ADHD is not just a topic but a l

I like boobs as much as I liked dragons when I was 10 years old

There are 2 types of men

If you're trying to Netflix and chill

I want to work hard so I can become the type of man who deserves to marry a woman he doesn't deserve

I'm not gay but if you put Ryan Gosling in a film and play the right music, I'll seriously start questioning m

Have you heard that sometimes if you're an asshole to them bartenders will spit in your drink

I wanted to be a mechanic but when they found out I was Jewish they said no

David works in health tech (MDCalc) and has watched the AI boom from inside the industry. This gives him genui

Jewish private school

**Murphy's Law**: what can go wrong will go wrong.

It takes me a while to cum

ADHD acronym:

> Auto-generated index of all bit files. Extracted from Apple Notes dated files and topic files.

I'm Jewish so

The largest thematic area by note count. David's comedy persona is earnest, horny, slightly chaotic, and deepl

#concept #undeveloped

This is one of the most developed thematic pillars in the vault. The material spans childhood, religious schoo

#concept #undeveloped

#concept #undeveloped

A distinct sub-theme that sits at the intersection of relationships and technology. David has written seriousl

#concept #undeveloped

In November 2013, the Splash Lab presented "Urinal Dynamics," demonstrating with high-speed experiments that r

This knowledge base was synthesized from ~2,100 Apple Notes. It maps the major themes, categories, and pattern