The Staten Island room job

Thursday and the Staten Island story

Story premise: The time I went to Staten Island for a rimjob

Tinder

Stuff in my ass on camera

———

I want to tell you the story of the time I went to Staten Island to get my ass eaten but instead got my dick sucked by a man

Well actually I don’t want to tell you

But they have a gun to my head and another gun

To my anus

They told me they’ll make the bullets meet in the middl

She asked me “do you want a rim job?”

And I was like “do I want a rimjob?”

And then she sent me a nude and I was like “I want a rim job”

Actually she told me I was gonna get one

—

So I once matched with this woman on Tinder, who said that she was looking for subs

And at the time I didn’t know what a sub was

So I said

I’ll be your sub

And I didn’t know what that was I thought it meant subscribe

And I probably should’ve said that upfront to remove confusion

I should’ve said I’ll be your subscriber

And the story would end there

But I didn’t know what sub meant

At the time

I know know what a sub is

And honestly, looking back

All I can think is

What kind of person is looking for multiple subs

Because that must be incredibly time-consuming

I can’t see two women casually at once without thinking, goddamnit my calendar is ruined

But apparently if she’s thinking, oh, I can step on somebody every day of the week

And honestly, if you saw what she looks like

You probably would’ve said

Step on me no big deal

So I say, I’ll be your sub

And the first thing she says is you can call me mommy

I decide at this point that I’ve probably misunderstood what she meant by sub

And so I looked up the Word

And for some reason after learning exactly what a submissive person is like

I thought OK this isn’t that far off

Given my upbringing

And how traumatized I was

I thought OK I don’t mind degrading myself a little bit more. Maybe I will like it this time.

And you know, my dad is the opinion that he did nothing wrong throughout my childhood

But I think if you knew that I stuck a toothbrush up my ass

A woman told me to

And I said yes, mommy

I think he would apologize

“I’m so sorry for your childhood”

And sometimes when I tell people about like

the relationship I had with my dad that they’ll tell me. Hey, you don’t only got one that you should tell him about all this and tell him how you feel and maybe you guys will make up

Say something like he’ll surprise you”

I don’t know because I think like what might be a surprise

Is him approving of the toothbrush at the ass?

Just like son I’m so proud of you.

For trying something new

But I’m skipping ahead because I didn’t start by sticking the toothbrush up my ass

We started with you know the word Mommy and her telling me to edge

And telling me that I couldn’t come

And then we went to you’re sending pictures

Now again when she told me to take a picture of my asshole

That was a good time to say no

I should have thought to myself

“I have never taken a picture of my asshole “

“ I probably shouldn’t send a picture of my asshole to a stranger because I have no experience with training my asshole. Why would I start now?”

At the very least I could’ve googled

“Lighting tips for framing your asshole “

but I don’t really take selfies because I’m on photogenic

I’m not photogenic when you lie why did I think it would be a good idea to take a photo of my butt hole?

Because either you know the pictures is gonna come out terrible there’s no way in my butt hole looks better than my face

Or worse

This picture of my butthole is better than any selfie I’ve ever taken

Now, if you’re thinking about the next thing is

Sticking a toothbrush up your asshole

You’d be wrong there was more

She asked me to go to the bathroom and jerk off, and I thought

“I have jerked off in the bathroom before this isn’t so far fetched “

And then I got this text that said hey by the way you can’t come

Which is good information I have before you start off

Because then you can pay yourself

and then she told me to go across the street and buy a toothbrush

And stick it up my ass

There’s not like And here’s the thing the fact that

I pulled my pants up

And went across the street to buy it

I had to choose between a regular travel toothbrush

And an electric one

And then went back across the street

Then pulled my pants down

And look at his toothbrush for a minute

And turned it upside down, obviously

And then stuck up my ass

Means that this was considered a premeditated event

If instead of asking me to put a toothbrush on my ass, she said, wants you to go kill somebody

This would’ve been murder in the first degree

It wouldn’t have been an active passion

—> I don’t know what was more embarrassing. The fact that I stuck a toothbrush up my ass or that I hadn’t brushed my teeth that morning.

This is an anal play in the first-degree premeditated and everything

And I will say because I was literally in the middle of edging I would’ve done anything

I would have put an eggplant up there

I would’ve done have purchased a buttplug made from bio degradable materials

I would’ve have stormed the capital

But thank god all I had to do was march on my asshole

Absolutely no repercussions except for learning I liked something more than I thought I would

But she told me a tooth brush and that was very nice of here to ease me into it

— skipping ahead. Fill out shame details here—-

—finally getting to come from a tit pic —

— being invited to staten island for a threesome

So there I am

Riding the Staten Island ferry

Crossing the Hudson for a rimjob

I wonder if this is what George Washington felt while he crossed the Delaware

(Do the pose)

On the other side of this water is glory

And rimjobs

Freedom to get your ass eat

(Toothbrush up my ass cavity joke?

(choosing toothbrushes. Which of these is gonna hurt the least? But I couldn’t get a kids toothbrush)

___asking the guy why he listened to her—

—it turns out I was just manipulative—

—getting kicked out—

—crying on the ferry home—

— like a shitty ending to the titanic—

I cried on the ferry home

I felt so violated

What a sad ending

But at least I’ve never cried during sex

What’s left of my masculinity will vanish if I ever shed a tear while inside a woman

—not the last time I will put a toothbrush up my ass

—

So there’s this moment or I’m trying like wait the pros and cons of a man going down on me and sucking my dick

And you know, but if he’s really good at it, what if he just pictures that Ryin is his and all those years when he tried to suck his own dick, it kind of culminated in the effort of being able to do mine

—-

When I tell this story at some point A lot of people feel bad for me

Don’t

The entire time we were doing this thing, I came so fucking hard

—

Commentary on the hero’s journey

A big part of the hero’s journey is when the hero takes on a a challenge that is more than he bargained for

I bet you didn’t think the hero’s journey could include a moment where you stick a toothbrush up your ass

Take that Joseph Campbell

—-

Carbonated water is a trip

A watchmaker wanted to

Make

Seltzer

Some

guy wanted water to taste more like beer

—-

So the moral of the story is that it’s a good thing that it didn’t work out between me and a dominatrix

Because she would’ve ruined my life

A variety is the spice of life, but there’s a lot of variety that isn’t that doesn’t include what I assume multiple chests of various sex toys all of which would’ve probably gone up my butt

—> what did I learn? I learned that variety is the spice of live but you don’t need that much variety.

I didn’t mean if she was drinking this guy eat my ass and I couldn’t imagine what she would make me do

I mean, bad respect to somebody who made a habit of breaking the will of men

I don’t think there are many people who could fight the patriarchy in the same way she could

—

Sometimes I wonder if she’s still out there shoving things up peoples’ butts or just one person’s butt

Sometimes I like to imagine she’s moved on, she got married, and her husband doesn’t know that she used to torture men, and not even for money

—

What would have happened after ass eating? Would we cuddle?

—

Not long after I stuck the toothbrush in my ass, she told me I was going to her house to get a rimjob and that’s when I realized

I stuck the wrong end of the toothbrush up my ass

I want went to Staten Island for a rim job

This woman said hey come over where we are gonna give you a room job

And they should’ve asked who we was

More than that, I shouldn’t have gone

The only reason to go to Staten Island for a room job

Is if you live there?