abortion argument with dad at 15I once got into an argument with my parents about abortion. I was 15 and heard the word a couple of times, and I did my research. The research of a 15 year old: Google and Reddit and Tumblr.
acorns brainstorm bitsYou can learn the intimate details about me on stage or after sex during pillow talk. Either way it's a 2 drink minimum
actions vs intentions quicheThey say actions matter more than intentions, but that's the wrong point to make! You can fuck things up by doing the right thing with the wrong intention, and that's scary.
addicted to carrots crowd bitPut my finger in my mouth — it's gonna seem sexual but it's really not — and explain to the crowd that I'm addicted to carrots and I've been trying to quit. Draw a bunch of parallels between quitting carrots and smoking.
ADHD at 6 - Dean's ListBeing diagnosed with ADHD at 6 makes no sense — a 6-year-old with ADHD is just a regular 6-year-old. The doctor gave a child a controlled substance. Got bullied, had to sell Adderall at a discount (against every fiber of my being). Did kids' homework for a premium. Dean's list, multiple times over.
stage-ready
ADHD is like herpesADHD doesn't go away — it's like herpes. And the comparison keeps going from there.
developing
ADHD side quests main questsHaving ADHD is great. Even if I'm distractible, my mind works in an interesting way and brings me interesting places.
ADHD-and-Mental-HealthA deeply personal category with some of the most developed, layered material. ADHD is not just a topic but a lens — the way David moves between ideas, the hyperfocusing, the self-observation — it shows up structurally in how the notes themselves are written.
AI blackface redneck AIBlackface is a thing of the past; makeup is cool and all but why would I paint a black face when I can just use AI to give myself a black face on the internet? "Dog you can't do that" "AI Blackface isn't okay because it's AI"
AI clown in my computerSoftware is sometimes like comedy. You gotta clown, and then you need to think pragmatically and edit.
AI Dating App TherapyOn an AI dating app. It asks "why not?" when you swipe no — which starts to border on therapy. Ends up wanting to call his brother instead of going on a date.
developing
AI fanart hippo skydivingFanart used to be easily picked out or at least hard enough to do that I only found it if I was ready to scroll google.
AI-and-Tech-ComedyDavid works in health tech (MDCalc) and has watched the AI boom from inside the industry. This gives him genuine technical credibility on the subject, which makes the comedy sharper than most AI material. He writes about AI from multiple angles: ethics, personality, relationships, business, and absurdist futures.
all boys jewish school scared missing out too muchGrowing up, I went to an all-boys Jewish private school, and for almost nine years, I was completely separated from girls. By the time I graduated, I was genuinely scared I was missing something important. I was embarrassed by how I felt around women, nervous I'd never have the confidence to talk to them, and worried that I'd miss out on one of the best parts of life—a loving relationship.
anti-vax vaccine for autismIs there anybody in the audience who does not like vaccines — like you're concerned about the way they're regulated and you suspect that maybe they have adverse side effects causing autism
Area rughttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DTfmjyGFC4Z/
arguing with rabbis boss battleArguing with a rabbi is like a boss battle you know you're going to lose because it's kind of hard to argue a case along the premise of one religion is the absolute basis for moral truth.
Bartender spitHave you heard that sometimes if you're an asshole to them bartenders will spit in your drink
potluck-tested
Best-IdeasThese are the most developed, most promising, and most distinctive concepts across the vault. Ranked loosely by development level and uniqueness.
Better manWhenever I see a hot person, I wanna be a better man.
Biking horse laneSometimes drivers will get mad at me for biking on the road even if I have a bike lane. I think they just don't wanna share the road.
raw-dictated
body countI have an idea for a pick up line. I'm not sure it'll work
born again jewsIn Judaism, we don’t have the concept of a born again Jew like you have born against Christians
breakdancers L train condomI'm afraid of the L train because sometimes it gets stuck with another train in front of it and I'm afraid I'm going to be stuck watching breakdancers for a while
Cereal monogamyI only eat one cereal for a while. Like I only ate pops for like two years in high school.. and then I ate cookie crisp for like a whole year. Then I grew up and decided to start eating Cheerios like plain Cheerios.
CharactersDavid has a strong instinct for character work, developed through clown training, improv (Groundlings), and stand-up. Characters appear in sketch form, as recurring personas in bits, and as named concept seeds.
chatgpt accused of using itPeople keep accusing me of using chatGPT to send them messages. But really I'm just very thoughtful in the way I respond to things.
cheating facebook post vague subtweetWhat do you do when you catch your friends cheating? Do you tell people you know? Believe it or not, I can keep a secret. But I wasn't sure I should. So instead of telling the people involved, I just post on Facebook: "I just caught some of my friends cheating… what do I do?" So all my friends are like: who's cheating? Is it my spouse?
Chest hairhttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DVsf7tdDSY9/
circus pole dancers feel no painPole dancers feel no pain. They feel nothing at all. Have you ever seen a robot themed pole act that was almost TOO convincing? (I'm just saying)
Circus-and-Physical-ComedyThis is David's biggest differentiator as a comedian. He can juggle, do acrobatics, backflips, handstands, and stilts — and he's been working to integrate these skills into stand-up in a way no one else is doing. Multiple show feedback notes confirm this is his most distinctive strength.
Cosby time travelI could travel back in time to see Bill Cosby while he was still on TV playing Dr. Huxtable
raw-dictated
Crowd pleaserI don't get why "crowd pleaser" is a good movie review
tried
dating waiting until marriage to get peggedSo I grew up in this somewhat Jewish family — which means I had to learn a lot about dating on the go. And on my own. Now I've learned enough at this point that I can get laid as long as I don't open my mouth.
Dating-Apps-and-TechA distinct sub-theme that sits at the intersection of relationships and technology. David has written seriously about building a dating platform and also mined the absurdity of existing ones for material.
Deserve to marryI want to work hard so I can become the type of man who deserves to marry a woman he doesn't deserve
raw
dick calculusEvery men in here has measured his penis, more than once
Do heroinPro tip for those of you who (whom?) work at an office:
Dr strangeI recently found out that Doctor Strange isn’t a gynecologist.
Eucalyptushttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DTl7SPJD00G/
Faking orgasmsMy ex girlfriend told me she faked all her orgasms, but they were real to me
faking your deathHave been thinking about soaking my own ass, but one of the only things that’s stopping me is that we had such a very amazing thing to do to your loved ones
Finger licking goodI think if somebody licks their fingers at the table, you gotta lick your fingers too
tried
frats and trumpFrats get a bad rep. And that's because they are kind of bad.
Future-and-Sci-Fi-BitsThe "Jew from the Future" persona is one of David's most fully realized characters. The [[FUTURE megafile]] is the central document — a long, multi-section piece with both "spoken" and "unspoken" sections, plus a show runsheet. This may be the single most developed piece in the entire vault.
Germany swastika drawing in second gradeIn Germany they will put you in prison if you draw a swastika. Well in second grade I drew a lot of them because I had this really thick textbook and the only images were of the Nazis. Baller suits, a lot easier [to draw].
getting a dog instagram celebrity ROII want to get a dog, but I don't know if it's worth the risk. Like what are the odds my dog becomes an Instagram celebrity and gives me a return on my investment?
going to therapy announcement pityDo you think if you tell people that you're on your way to therapy, they'll be mean to you because you're in therapy and figure you'll just take care of it there? Or be nice to you because they know you're in therapy?
horny resume dating vs job huntingHorny resume. It's a lot like filling out a resume when you're looking for a job because you NEED one. You're willing to say all sorts of things to get that job. Yeah I'm proactive. I'll call in late, I'll bring in flowers, I'll sleep with the boss. And leading into that job offer, you feel like you're in love. And then you get the gig and you follow through and you get paid, and you're just left feeling like a cheap slut. I can't believe I did all that for just a paycheck
INDEXThis knowledge base was synthesized from ~2,100 Apple Notes. It maps the major themes, categories, and patterns across David Mendelovits's comedy writing, character work, performance notes, and personal reflections.
Jewish mechanicI wanted to be a mechanic but when they found out I was Jewish they said no
potluck-tested
Jewish-IdentityThis is one of the most developed thematic pillars in the vault. The material spans childhood, religious schooling, leaving observance, antisemitism, cultural identity, and the Borscht Belt comedy tradition David both satirizes and participates in.
johnny bravo jacked lives with momIsn't it interesting that Johnny Bravo sort of modeled today's bachelor? Jacked as fuck, rizzed to the teeth, can literally swing his hips like Elvis, but still lives with his mom?
Louder sexhttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DTqHBQWky_j/
made in china tag adoptionI've been finding made in China tags on everything I own. Sometimes I get nervous that I'm just gonna find a made in China tag on myself. I kind of knew I was adopted; I just didn't think I was Asian
men women dating raining men droughtDating is awesome and it sucks. For women, I imagine when it rains it pours, and it's always raining. It's raining men but half of them are dicks, y'all need umbrellas understandably.
my penis doesn't workI'd date a comic but my penis doesn't work right now and I don't need everyone to know that
New-Material-Late-April-May-2026A digest of all new writing in the two weeks leading up to Netflix is a Joke. Organized by theme, with development notes and connections to existing material.
nyc ferry pirate ship captain pensionThe NYC ferry is amazing mostly because once a day, I get to be a pirate. Did you know that every ferry has a ship captain? Most are pretty New York City — think of an MTA employee but with an eyepatch and a peg leg
One-Liners- **I went to a Jewish private school. It was an all boys school. I have a fear of god but a bigger fear of women. God can't withhold sex.** [[Some jokes but a little different]]
Orgy rsvphttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DV3Jui7Ej4N/
PhD in sexologyIt must be crazy hard to get a PhD in sexology. Just staying up all night to study sex.
Purim costume ron lemieux porn starMy senior year of high school: I went to an all boys Jewish private school. I thought it would be a great idea to dress as a 70s porn star. So I did. Because I was 17 and I was incredibly clever.
Real estateI got a job in real estate accounting software
Recurring-ThemesThis article maps the cross-cutting obsessions, structural moves, and signature patterns that appear across the vault regardless of topic. These are the building blocks of David's comic voice.
run with scissorsWorst part about being circumcised is walking around knowing I can't undo it
ryan gosling sexuality movie trailersI'm not gay but if you put Ryan Gosling in a film and play the right music, I'll seriously start questioning my sexuality, but only until the next movie trailer starring Ana de Armas, and Blade Runner cinematography; then I'm straight again
Self-Deprecation-and-InsecurityDavid's comedy persona is built around a specific kind of insecurity: not self-pity, but self-aware absurdity. He's not whining — he's doing forensic analysis of his own failings and finding the structural comedy in them. This is his most personally honest territory.
Set-Lists-and-Show-NotesA significant portion of the vault (perhaps 40%+) consists of performance logistics: set maps, show runsheets, mic notes, class transcripts, and post-show feedback. These are the engine room — the iterative work of getting material stage-ready.
Sex-and-DatingThe largest thematic area by note count. David's comedy persona is earnest, horny, slightly chaotic, and deeply self-aware about the gap between his aspirations and his reality. The sex material is never cynical — it's confessional with reversals.
Spidershttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DT_z0E3ga-6/
Stepmom pornographyIn sixth grade my friend was talking about pornography — and he used the word "pornography" because to an 11-year-old it sounds sophisticated, like a really cool word.
tried
Uber quiet modeA while ago Uber added this feature where you can put your preference that you don't wanna talk to the driver.
raw-dictated
urinal splash cake problem scientists protractor rulerIn November 2013, the Splash Lab presented "Urinal Dynamics," demonstrating with high-speed experiments that reducing the impact angle, aiming at a vertical surface, and moving closer minimize splashback, effectively offering the first practical, physics-based mitigation guidance for urinals.
valentines day big chocolate apathetic to avoid sadnessI get so many ads for valentines day themed things. It's kind of ridiculous that if I don't want to be sad I need to be increasingly apathetic. If I try to be as happy about valentine's day as "Big Chocolate" wants me to be, I'll come off as a weirdo.
weed as the argument solverI think we smoke weed too much but we should call it the argument solver and only use it when you fix an argument or someone is in court.
wet dreamsWet dreams are cool because I wake up as soon as I come.
Who bullies their drug dealerDiagnosed with ADHD at 6 → Adderall prescription → basically the school drug dealer. Who bullies their drug dealer?
stage-ready
Women with boyfriendsLoves meeting women with boyfriends. No pressure, get to practice listening, get to be a third wheel, get gossip, maybe make two friends. "I'm not in the friend zone — I am the friend zone."
developing
Women with catsAllergic to cats. When a woman has a cat, have to decide if she's worth giving up air. This spirals into allergy exposure therapy — getting a little bit of cat injected into you for love.
developing
WrestlingWent 0-19 freshman year of wrestling. Dad watched me get pinned in 25 seconds. Two years later, got revenge on the same kid — and the only payoff was a "good job" from the coach.
stage-ready
Yeshiva vs Software EngineeringArguing with rabbis about God → arguing with code that won't compile. Structurally identical. Mom still doesn't understand what I do — she'd rather say I was a doctor. But a nervous doctor would be bad.
stage-ready