The largest thematic area by note count. David's comedy persona is earnest, horny, slightly chaotic, and deeply self-aware about the gap between his aspirations and his reality. The sex material is never cynical — it's confessional with reversals.

A fully performed, transcribed bit with documented audience response: - Amazon Prime condom subscription purchased at top of year ("king") - 5 months later: 210 condoms stockpiled, used 2 (first one broke) - "If you build it they will come" — double meaning, held beautifully - Gym sauna confession → "courtesy hand job" at Equinox punch - Pivots to Kegels, serial monogamy, and "edible non-monogamy" (Kellogg's variety pack)

This is the most structurally complete bit in the vault. Source: Comedy Cellar class 2 setThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.

Long transcribed set from Comedy Village: - Performance anxiety → "this happens to a lot of guys" - "Erectile misfunction — it works just at the wrong time" - Morning wood as the solution: "I try to get her to stay the night" - Kegels at the gym — "put your finger on my taint" - Kegels → Kugels (Jewish callback) - Men's sexual health as "growth industry" — pun deployed

Source: Kegels set 6-12 villageThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.

Fully transcribed set (likely early material): - All-boys school → terrified of women after graduation - Found She Comes First in library — librarian led to the catacombs without looking it up - Author PhD in clinical sexology BUT "practitioner of the art" - He Comes Next is "like a pamphlet you get in church" - "A sliced open papaya" cover art — "are you sure?" - "I button-mash my way through my love life"

Source: All boys Jewish private schoolThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.

- "I'm not one to kiss and tell / Unless all we did is kiss / Cause that's sweet" — developed into a full set with French kissing history, group chat confessions, and variations (don't anal and tell) — Friday 1-2-26This file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. - Cat allergy girlfriend bit: "You take my breath away" (it's the cat). Took Zyrtec every day. Broke up not because of cat but commitment issues. "I was always the bigger pussy" — me and women with catsThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. - Anxious optimist: "I'm always worried something good is going to happen... What if she loves me for who I am and because of how I was raised, I deny myself unconditional love" — Anxious optimistThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. - Reddit infidelity expert: reads cheating threads obsessively, "women I go out with wouldn't cheat on me because they wouldn't go out with me twice" — Friday mapThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. - Serial monogamy / cereal monogamy: "Me and Frosted Flakes, things were going great..." edible non-monogamy — Comedy Cellar class 2 setThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. - Being attractive at 40+: "Right now I got nothing, but stick around: I'll be a hot 50 year old" — Being attractiveThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. - Height bits: standing on tip-toes at bars; "cut 5'11" man" — Friday mapThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all., Being 5'9"This file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.

A recurring angle: David frames sex like a skill to be studied and optimized: - Reading sex books like a student ("I still have it, I have it memorized") - Kegels as training - Orgasm as construction project: "you gotta knock shit down... stay consistent and finish the job... I'm an orgasm perfectionist. Which means we'll never get there." — Former virgin is bad at sexThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. - The "puzzle" model of sex vs. the skill model — Losing your virginityThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. - Paying "taxes" on dates — Auditing my sexual historyThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.

A through-line between the Future set and the general sex material: - Sex robots decrease neediness and improve relationships in the future - "My toaster wife Gladys" — cheating on her with a blender, another toaster, a pop-tart - "A sex robot will never fake an orgasm" (and by implication, David has faked one — confirmed in Cellar set)

Source: FUTURE megafileThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.

- Lightbulbs and orgasmsThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.: "Same thing with orgasms" — clean two-liner - Condom subscriptionThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.: standalone note on spite condoms - Condoms 1This file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.: carrying a Magnum for friends who look lucky tonight - 5 minutes on sexThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.: virginity / sex + music / threesomes as set map - AVN dream setThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.: opening to an adult film industry crowd; "my favorite pornstar is me" - Lox and pussyThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.: acquired taste joke — brief, punchy - Impractical fetishesThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all., FetishesThis file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. — unexplored territory worth developing - Having a good sex(or set)This file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. — meta joke about the title itself

- Performance anxiety as the through-line — from condom hoarding to kegels to orgasm perfectionism, the undercurrent is a guy genuinely trying - The Jewish school origin always lurking — the sex material almost always gestures back to the delayed start, the book reading, the terror of women - Self-deprecation with pride: David is bad at sex in ways that demonstrate he's thought about it more than anyone else - Mom as audience member: mom approving of his sex life recurs across multiple bits — sweet, weird, very him