ADHD at 6 - Dean's List

Being diagnosed with ADHD at 6 makes no sense — a 6-year-old with ADHD is just a regular 6-year-old. The doctor gave a child a controlled substance. Got bullied, had to sell Adderall at a discount (against every fiber of my being). Did kids' homework for a premium. Dean's list, multiple times over.

Apple Notes/adhd 2This file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all.

I was diagnosed with adhd at 6 years old.

And that doesn't make sense to me.

Because you know what a 6 year old with adhd is like? A regular 6 year old!

My doctor was renowned — most probably neurologist in Sleepy Hollow.

You know the place, the origin of the headless horseman?

But yeah she looked at me, had me play with circles, tapped my knee and was like: here's a controlled substance.

I got bullied a lot growing up.

Which taught me that you can bully the adderall plug.

I thought being the resident Jewish drug dealer would mean I was safe.

But nope.

I had to sell my adderall at a discount.

Which went against every fiber of my being.

And then for some reason, they would pay me a premium to do their homework.

Why did they need the adderall?

They just made it harder for me to do their homework.

I did pretty well. I was on the dean's list in high school.

And so was everybody who paid me to do their homework.

So I was on the deans list a few times over.

- "A regular 6 year old!" — punch it. The non-reveal is the joke. - "Sleepy Hollow" tangent — optional, could cut if set is tight - "Every fiber of my being" — the Jewishness lands implicit here, don't explain it - "So I was on the dean's list a few times over" — strong button, end there

- Who bullies their drug dealer — earlier version of the same premise, more emotional - Apple Notes/Adhd 1This file never made it to this site. There's some truly random shit I write in my notes and I can't share it all. — longer version with herpes comparison and GPS analogy - ADHD is like herpes — natural follow