lapped by divorced friends mario kart

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUdy59ZDJ8r/

I have friends that have gotten married and divorced already. And it feels like I just got locked in the game of Mario Kart.

They're like ah look at us. Two single guys.

We're just doing it dealing with single guy things. I'm like you have kids.

I have friends that have gotten married and then divorced

And I'm still single

And it kind of feels like I just got lapped in a game of Mario Kart.

They're like "oh look at us two single guys! two single guys doing single guy things"

I'm like "you have kids" I have an addiction to vaping I have renter's insurance I have a girlfriend who won't call me back

"It's not my fault your wife hit you with those blue shell papers"

—- I fucking wish I had a blue shell

And they're like "good thing it's a renters' market!" And I'm like "you OWN a home"

Like they are objectively so much farther along in life

And really the one thing I have on them is that I understand how the rental market works

—- I have a friend that married a single mom and now he has step kids. That's gotta be like getting the box with bullet bill right? Just zooming forward.

Meanwhile I'm hoping for star power

WHAT is the finish line?

What is a victory lap?

Rainbow road??

—- My parents were toxic, they never taught me how to drift. Also, I feel like I never got to choose my character — I was just born Toad and ironically, I was addicted to mushrooms

Mario Kart properties: - Bowser, Donkey Kong, motorcycles, blue shells, red shells, green shells, magic bullet/torpedo