Women with boyfriends

Loves meeting women with boyfriends. No pressure, get to practice listening, get to be a third wheel, get gossip, maybe make two friends. "I'm not in the friend zone — I am the friend zone."

Apple Notes/Women with boyfriends

I was separated from women for 10 years. So I love when I meet a woman period.

A lot of men would say I'm a simp, and they're right. I am a total simp.

Did you know that single men die earlier and married men live longer? I don't believe in god, but if I did, that's a pretty clear sign: "Women are good for you, get over it."

So I'm happy to be friends with women. It's not the same thing as a relationship, but maybe a friendship with a woman is kind of like macrodosing marriage?

If I get enough friends who are women, can I live forever?

I spent the first 18 years of my life with primarily a male perspective on how to live life.

I love meeting women with boyfriends, because I get to practice my listening skills.

A lot of guys act like being the friend zone is a bad thing. Dude, it's THE friend zone. It's the place to be.

I love when I meet a woman and she has a boyfriend. I love meeting women with boyfriends.

For so many reasons: - The goal is to make women happy. I love when I don't have to do any work. - Mission is to make women happy and no one man is capable of that. - No 1 man can give a woman a full happy life. A single man can make a woman unhappy. - Women, like men, need to have a full life with lots of friends. The men can't have lady friends though. - Maybe I could learn a thing or two from this guy. - It takes away the delusion. - I get to learn about boundaries. - I get to be a third wheel. Some people don't like being a third wheel. I love being a third wheel. - If I do it right, I'm never blocking the moment. I'm just filling the awkward silence. - Sometimes they think I'm just gay. - And that makes it so much easier to be friends. - We could be friends. - If that works, I might make 2 friends. A 2 for 1. - Bro, I'm not in the friend zone, I am the friend zone. Hang with me and you'll make friends. - I can be myself. - I'm a pretty cool guy, unless I'm trying to date you. If I'm being honest, I kind of suck. If I'm not, then I think I might get lucky. - When I'm trying to date someone, I try to be all the way reasons they should date me. When they decide we're just going to be friends, I'm like "here's why that was the right call." - It makes it so much easier to be friends with them. I could just let out my weirdness. - I get to practice my listening skills. - We get to gossip. I don't gossip with a woman I'm trying to sleep with. I am the gossip. - They arm you with the information that will lead to the end of their relationship. - Maybe it's true love. True love is awesome to behold. - It's not THE friend zone. It's just a friend zone, because I've got lots of friends.

If your girl leaves you for a guy with a manbun it's not because of me. You dodged a bullet. So technically I took a bullet for you.

Girls with boyfriends aren't the same thing as guys with girlfriends. Girls in relationships can just be friends with men. But a man in a relationship who's just friends with a girl is sus.

Girls can get in a relationship without social skills. Men cannot get into one without them. And that's why I believe I'm lacking the necessary social skills.

I once met a woman and got to know her enough that we started talking about some more personal stuff. And maybe she thought I was gay but she told me she stuck a finger up her boyfriend's ass, and I thought "What a queen."

Now there's a woman who gets her hands dirty.

Because there are only a few options: - He never did it before and he loved it. She just spiced up their relationship. - He knew he loves a finger up there and she just made him the happiest man ever. - He didn't like it but they're still together because the relationship was strong enough to survive a pinky in the bum.

When a woman tells me she's taken, I turn into Liam Neeson. "I don't know who he is, or what he really wants. But I have a very particular set of skills. A set of skills developed over a long period of time being a third wheel. I don't care who he is, but I will respect yours and his boundaries."

Sometimes people think I'm being sneaky. That I just want to fuck.

But I could use a friend more than a lover.

I want to fuck but not bad enough.

People don't trust me but...

- "Macrodosing marriage" — this is the best line in the whole piece, don't bury it - The bulleted list section is workshop/writing material — condense to 3-4 best reasons for stage - "I am the friend zone" — strong applause break - Liam Neeson bit is a good crowd bit but test it — the callback only works if they track the reference - Last four lines feel unfinished — "people don't trust me but..." needs a button

- She Comes First — same biographical arc (all-boys school, fear of women) - Women with cats — same dating thread - Apple Notes/Women with boyfriends