Better man

Whenever I see a hot person, I wanna be a better man.

But whether or not that’s a man or a woman I’m willing to do to be that better man.

If I see tall, handsome attractive man

I think OK maybe I’m a little gay

and I should probably do more push-ups and pull-ups

I should get back into doing backflips recreationally

but when I see a pretty woman, I think you know what I should start recycling

I’m gonna go ahead educate myself on these Israel Palestinian politics

I’m going to be more outspoken in politically

I’m gonna stand up for what I believe in

I’ve always been pretty anxious around women

(I was separated from women in middle & high school) My first relationship was over Skype

I had such little time around women

I wasn’t even an incel

I was an involuntary guy’s guy

And guy’s didn’t even want to hang out with me

But it got to this point, where I got so anxious around women I spent all my time trying to do self improvement so I can feel good about myself around women

Like I would work out every day, read books about how to talk to women, which- these books are pretty much guides on how NOT to be a weirdo

So I don’t have the same mentality about women as most men. 
A lot of men are critical of women

They make fun of how they’re different.

Or they make fun of them for how they talk.

I have literally heard men talk about women like “when a woman talks, I stop listening”

Dude! When a woman talks,

I hide in the corner- but I listen

But there’s this part of me that feels like I’m still not good enough

Like when I see a beautiful woman

All I can think is: “I wanna be a better man”

I saw this girl last week. 
Gorgeous- my future wife

And Instead of talking to her

I called my dad and made up with him

Earlier this month, I met a woman and instead of asking her on a second date, I realized

I should be in therapy

And I’m pretty sure I can be a much better man.

And if I want to get shacked up now, I need to find a woman who can see past the immediate cringe

Or

She’s willing to take a coin flip