statistics small penis prediction nerd

I like talking about statistics but I'm almost positive that every time I say the word 'statistics', every one in the room immediately clenches.

I feel like with that 1 word, people are more likely to judge me as a nerd, and everyone here predicts I will have a small penis. The more I use the word 'statistics' the more people predict I had a lot of time to spend as a young adult not getting laid.

Clearly people who think in terms of statistics are stupid, because y'all are able to update your priors implicitly; meanwhile, I gotta take out a pen and paper and figure out where I went wrong. Everyone in this room can probably tell you where you went wrong just by their gut, which unlike the brain, is not embarrassed to say it understands where, when, and why you went wrong with that gas station sushi.

Statistically, gas station sushi will mess you up. But the number itself isn't important. We just know that the risk is TOO HIGH.